Friday, July 16, 2004
personal info
today i saw an old friend. i keep on bumping into people lately. i mean it both figuratively and literally. old friends just keep on popping up everywhere i go and nearly every day now. just today, i saw matt on the way home. and now i kinda wish i didn't see him. well, i can't say wish but it's the only word that i can think of right now--so it will have to do. i didn't want him to know where i lived (we were on the same bus).
i'm somewhat touchy on such matters. like giving away my phone number, where i live--hell, even my name. when i meet some people that i've just recently known, i give them a fake name (and hope i never see them again in some cases). i hate it when people give away my phone number or even msn without my permission. it happens anyways. as much as i hate it, i generally let it go. in fact, i wouldn't even say "generally". i always do. i don't care how "close" you are to me. ("close" is in quotations because everyone says that they're close....i don't care if you are or not....just shove it.) afterwards, i would just fume at it secretly by yelling at the bathroom mirrors when i'm in the shower or cursing the perpretrator while burning pictures of him/her (if there isn't any, trust me i will make some). i remember this one time when my number was given away by "suzi" (as i shall call her...i could say him, but we'll just keep it as her), although it was for "legitimate reasons", i burnt all the leaves in the yard while envisioning "suzi". of course, those "legitimate reasons" being for a school club's contact purposes.
i suppose i have a temper. but it's not so bad as it seems. i'm a pretty calm person. i rarely yell. and i hate loud noises or sudden movements. i merely try to take out my anger in a different method. besides, it prevents me from saying some stupid impulsive things. and i have some crude comments to those i'm annoyed at, to put it lightly. fortunately, experience has taught me that it's not so bright to say what you feel upfront. especially when it comes back to you and you need a favour. worse, i have a tendency to forget about the previous incidents in matters of family politics. but i can't do anything about it since it has passed. i suppose i'll eventually have to let it go.
take note though, i rarely hold grudges. i would say never, but in case i do, i would be going against my own word. grudges aren't for me. no one's worth the effort just quite yet. when it comes along, i'll be sure to tell you. what matters most right now for me is the moment. there is no going back.
on a brighter note, there are people that do ask me directly. the other day i also bumped into another friend downtown. he understood the value of asking the person directly for their personal info. although he could have asked for my phone number off of his sister, he was kind enough to ask me directly. for that, i appreciate it and i think my respect for him has risen a little. i'm not too sure right now since i'm busy fuming over how so-and-so got my number from mr. dickhead, who had gotten it from another dildo. in this light, he just seems like the perfect contrast. there isn't many people that actually ask me directly for my info.
however, i do accept exceptions. i don't mind it when you do ask another person for my info if you have asked me beforehand. like matt today, he had asked me for my new msn address. since i was getting off the bus, he suggested that he get it off of another friend of mine. that, i am alright with.
enough ranting. i never thought i would write this much. need to work tomorrow, so nite.
| lily* || 0 || 11:21 p.m. |
