Monday, August 09, 2004
just here.
yesterday, i freaked out. well, i wouldn't call it freaked out. freaking out is different for me. freaking out for me is like a mix of a cat fight with a bunch of off-key canaries who are singing and maybe a couple blind monkeys. well, rather, yesterday, i guess you could say i was a bit frazzled.
fortunately, i am safe. temporarily. i suppose i will continue my "low profile". and honestly, i think i rather enjoy it. i don't like the loud lily. i like the quiet lily. quiet lily keeps me honest to myself. moreover, it's less of a hassle. i don't say anything stupid (well, as much).
also, i think it brings an advantage for myself. those who do not know me can assume that i am a fool for all that i care. people talk too much. and when people talk, it gives away a certain characteristics about yourself. weaknesses. strengths. also, the body language is easier to read when someone talks. quiet people are much harder to read. thus, nothing is lost--unless some fool decides to assume certain things.
unfortunately, i keep a blog. that gives away a lot more than i should write. it kills my "low profile". defies the point of attempting to have one. oh well. i don't mind. i don't think i care.
not that i care much anymore.
or perhaps this is the calm after the rush. the rush of adrenline that you feel after telling everyone to fuck off. when you fall from the sky. after pretending you were god. and then some jackass had to push you. off the cliff. pretty. calming. it's a long fall. i don't think i make sense. it doesn't matter. i hope that jackass rots. along with all the other fucktards.
i wonder if i'm having a migraine again.
| lily* || 0 || 11:27 p.m. |
