Thursday, September 30, 2004
fake debates

scrapped this off of scratchings. so credits to harry's pastel palette post.

for those students in the debate club (as well as other students) that routinely check onto my blog, this may assist you on our upcoming discussion on the kerry/bush debate:



| lily* || 1 || 6:52 p.m. |

---

pin the tail

credits: My Blahg

most definately brightened my day when i saw it (and continues to amuse me).



| lily* || 0 || 6:03 p.m. |

---

Wednesday, September 29, 2004
nicotine

lately, i've had these cravings. cravings for nicotine. a cigarette. any cigarette. malboro, or whatever that's out there--i don't care. i just want a cigarette.

actually, i suppose, it's been a little more than lately. for a couple of months now.

i've held back for now. haven't bought one yet. i can easily get one if i truly wanted it. buy one from the corner store, get it off of a friend, or just take one from a relative.

i've tried smoking before. can't say i like it too much. i can't find anything appealing about it and yet, i am addicted to it before i actually am.

perhaps maybe life's been just shitty lately and that's why i want a cigarette. yawn. everyone's life is shitty.

fuck, i need a cigarette.



| lily* || 2 || 9:57 p.m. |

---

Tuesday, September 28, 2004
leila

oh yes, i forgot to mention one other quality about leila.

she is bitchy.

chinese women have a tendency to be bitchy, whiny, or both.

leila has decided to take part in the bitchy side of it.

queen bitch of bitches.



| lily* || 0 || 11:58 p.m. |

---

chopsticks

chopsticks is essential utensil in which every chinese person--no, oriental person--should have some basic knowledge about.

sadly, my sister Leila lacks such knowledge.

as white washed as Leila is (and i suppose the rest of the family), one would figure that she would at least know how to use chopsticks.

our family eats rice nearly everyday. we usually have the typical chinese meal. rice, steamed/cooked/boiled/stirfry vegetables and some fish. maybe some other meat occasionally. (i'm not a big fan on meat.)

moreover, Leila was bought up in China as a little girl. sure, she was born in Canada, but she spent part of her childhood in China.

Leila enjoys chinese movies. Leila also has some crazy chinese friends. (one of which i call stalker...hehe.) Leila likes chinatown. additionally, leila goes to pacific mall. (pacific mall is some popular asian mall in markham...or was it richmond hill?)

included in this equation is that Leila can read and speak Chinese quite fluently.

i can barely do both the former and the latter. (shame on me.)

so, it doesn't make sense.

Leila is the least white washed of the entire family (excluding parents, of course) and ironically, she cannot hold chopsticks. well, Leila can hold them--just not properly and not for long.

our heritage is going to white washed away, isn't it?

shame.



| lily* || 0 || 10:32 p.m. |

---

Monday, September 27, 2004
asfia

hi asfia. i wrote about you.

please get me a gun. i won't shoot you. promise.

i need to shoot the pain away.

damn migraines.



| lily* || 0 || 10:38 p.m. |

---

Sunday, September 26, 2004
katherine harris

this is beautiful:

Go to Schneider's website, not Harris'. I'm sure Katherine Harris
doesn't know what a "Kos" is... She probably thinks it's a handbag
designer.

I saw that cosmetic-encrusted witch on CSPAN once. If she isn't
the most vacuous, brain-dead, loathsome mountain of human excrement in
Washington DC, then we should surrender to the UN now. She is to
intelligence what Rick Santorum is to gay sex. Watching that troll open
her pie-hole in a congressional hearing is like watching a diarrhetic on the
toilet. It's as if one of the real congresswomen brought her daughter to
sit on her lap during the proceedings, and then the little tyke grabbed the
microphone while her mommy went to take an important phonecall. All the
other committee members just shift in their seats and look nervously at each
other to see which of them will be the first to turn off her microphone or
distract her with a shiny toy. I'm sure that after becoming familiar with
her "talents", her high school guidance counselor did not immediately think "US
Representative". He was probably thinking tarot card reader, or phone sex
operator. Maybe even cheerleader coach. She is the most prominent
clown in the Florida circus. To have her in our US congress is a very poor
attempt at humor. Katherine Harris is the punchline to the joke that
Florida politics has become... Maybe all the manatees are going extinct
because they freeze while trying to swim to Canada.

site credits to: Daily Kos and cc

(katherine harris is as cc described it: "the makeup-slathered, pathetic excuse for a human being who ran George Dubya's Florida campaign while simultaneously holding the office of Florida Secretary of State".)



| lily* || 0 || 10:32 p.m. |

---

the word on the street

the word on the street is fantabulous. i love it.

but it could be cheaper.

or maybe i'm just poor.

sometimes it sucks to be young. or a student.



| lily* || 0 || 9:58 p.m. |

---

sadia.

what a sweet girl. i love her. she's so adorable. (sorry amna.)

was too tired to blog yesterday. my hands were killing me after carrying asfia, stefanie, and andrew's university booklets and pamphlets. in fact, they're still somewhat swollen. university fair.

anyway, i was struggling a little (only a little) my bundle--rather extravagant bundle, that is--of university advertising. or "promotion" as they called it.

papers and pamphlets were filled to the tee in my backback. in my hand, was about 20lbs of more. worse, i had used five bags to ensure none of the contents would fall out. after all, i was collecting for a total of four people, which was much more than i thought i could handle.

sadia, being the sweet girl she is, grabbed the bag from me and told me to stay put. well, something along those lines--with slightly differently wording.

i don't know how it sounds on this blog, but it was an incredibly sweet gesture.

much and greatly appreciated.

especially since the pile was about a gazillion pounds to carry. and more by the hour.

unfortunately, i had to cut into sadia's shopping time due to my enormous "burden" (as i shall dub it now). my apologies.

during the university fair, sadia, rizwana, and i were joking around. my memories not quite clear right now, however i do believe it was something along the lines of a broken back and suing people. my backpack was so heavy that i might need back surgery. and sadia would be the lawyer who would sue asfia, stefanie, and andrew. sadia would also be the doctor. she would a brain surgeon.

i'm not so sure what was so funny about that. rizwana had said something and then sadia had bought up the comment that we would be friends for a long time.

oh yeah, it was something about how i would age into some really old lady and sadia be the doctor that wouldn't recognize me. and keep in contact.

although we were merely poking fun, i had the feeling sadia meant what she said.

i'm always surprised when somebody says something that they mean. or do a good gesture, for that matter.

maybe there is hope in the future for this horrid world.

oh and, we will be good friends for a long time.



| lily* || 1 || 7:43 p.m. |

---

Friday, September 24, 2004
who's in china

George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
George: Great. Lay it on me.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
George: That's what I want to know.
Condi: That's what I'm telling you.
George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes.
George: I mean the fellow's name.
Condi: Hu.
George: The guy in China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The new leader of China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The Chinaman!
Condi: Hu is leading China.
George: Now whaddya' asking me for?
Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi: That's the man's name.
George: That's who's name?
Condi: Yes.
George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in Palestine!.
Condi: That's correct.
George: Then who is in China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir is in China?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Then who is?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China.Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
Condi: Kofi?
George: No, thanks.
Condi: You want Kofi?
George: No.
Condi: You don't want Kofi.
George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi?
George: Milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi: And call who?
George: Who is the guy at the U.N?
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
George: Will you stay out of China?!
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: And stay out of Palestine! Just get me the guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi.
George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.(Condi picks up the phone.)
Condi: Rice, here.
George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get chinese food in the Middle East?

credits to: My Blahg: http://myblahg.blogspot.com and tell me a secret: http://secretsinbaghdad.blogspot.com/



| lily* || 1 || 1:29 a.m. |

---

Thursday, September 23, 2004
oleg

my friend, oleg--and since i cannot think of any other way to place it--surprised me today. usually oleg's quite the "i don't give two shits" kind of guy, which he is and will remains so probably for his entire life unless something catastrophic occurred.

somehow, in our msn conversation, we came across how "numb" people are. and that was when he stated that he would step up when the coutnry needed him. in the middle of nowhere. well, nearly. i won't give any details, but he continued a little on how much the country had given him (canada) and so forth.

i'm just surprised, because he means it.

not many people do.

it's nice to know that there are good people out there. genuine. true to their nature and what they say.

although this is a weird rant in the midst of another migraine, cheers to you, oleg.



| lily* || 0 || 11:53 p.m. |

---

amna

i saw amna yesterday. (or was it the day before? my memory's ghastly poor these days.)

she seemed to be shorter. her back was hunched over. she was wearing glasses. and a red sweater that seemed quite similar to the one that sadia was wearing at the same time. jeans, like sadia, and i suppose the rest of the student population.

most of all, amna just seemed stressed.

amna is stressed.

she wasn't talking in a puff as she usually does when she's excited. her speech was still quick, but slower. running shoes, not her usual black boots. i suppose, more suitable on the ttc. not the car. glasses, not contacts. exhausted.

i hope you're well, amna. don't stress yourself too much.

or perhaps i'm crazy and going overboard with something that's not there.

but it was definately good to see you. we missed you!



| lily* || 1 || 10:39 p.m. |

---

Tuesday, September 21, 2004
A view from the north

hello. here i am, despite nagging at myself to not go onto blogger. sleep, lily, i tell myself, is much more important despite being incredibly drugged and caffienated. (please note: i am not a drug addict, merely for my horrid migraines.)

moreover, i have homework. plus lots of reading. and work. and laundry. and more work.

don't we all have work?

okay, i'm getting off topic here. i've already almost forgotten why i am here.

an e-mail.

a very good e-mail. A view from the north: http://canadiancynic.blogspot.com/ has decided to continue! (for those of you that do not know, mr. canadiancynic had previously wanted to quit.) there are only too few number of people who are willing to place the time and effort to speak out against the injustices of bush et company.

now, back to my penalty ban.



| lily* || 0 || 10:54 p.m. |

---

Sunday, September 19, 2004
such luxuries i almost wished i had...

i suppose occasionally there are times when people do things in which they think is convenient for themselves is also convenient for others.

please allow me to inform such people that it is not true.

it may be in some cases, but it's merely a matter of concidence or it has been well thought out. for the people belonging in such a category or situation, i applaud you.

sometimes people forget that i live at some considerable distance and time away from luxuries such as the newspaper box (where newspapers are purchased and dispensed) and quick transportation like the ttc.

it takes a certain amount of time and money to do such a simple task as purchasing a newspaper.

time is tight and so is my income. we are all very busy people. plus i live on an income, which is something quite close to nothing.

thus, the fact that it is the weekend does not help. there are fewer buses, particularly on my route. ttc ticket prices continue to rise. weekend editions are between two to three times the regular price for newspapers. worse yet, it is a newspaper i abhor--the national post.

so i ask you, to remember my unfortunate "handicaps" when you do something which "just seems sensible and convenient".



| lily* || 2 || 9:57 p.m. |

---

look! even the mailbox is protesting against bush...

| lily* || 3 || 9:28 p.m. |

---

The DTCW's Panic Induction Stress State Of National Unity Alert Logo [PISSONUAL]

please read Inspector Lohmann's Panic Induction Stress State Of National Unity Logo: http://inspectorlohmann.blogspot.com/2004/09/panic-induction-stress-state-of.html

| lily* || 0 || 7:08 p.m. |

---

comments

my apologies for not posting comments in reply. i suppose i should, considering the fact that i did add in the comment feature on my site.

i'm not totally sure why i don't reply. i suppose it's habit. usually when someone offers a comment, i just nod and say thank you--whether if it is an insult, compliment, or opinion.

i might have thoughts of my own, but more often than not from experience, i tend to offend the commentator. often, as a history student, there are moments where debates may rise over a certain issue. kashmir, for example. thus, i have chosen to remain silent to most commentary.

furthermore, i have discovered that it is in my silence where my image can remain at its most diplomatic front. i feel that i am at a strategic advantage to remain silent--to choose at which opportune moment to speak, that is.

perhaps, over time, it has been developed as a habit.

fortunately, in light of your comment, i will reply to the comments found here.

hurray and cheers.



| lily* || 1 || 6:37 p.m. |

---

Thursday, September 16, 2004
sigh

as usual, i am procrastinating. what happened? i was working so well last year. and now i'm back to my old habits. shame on me.

anywho, just some small updates. will add more links. was too lazy to switch computers to add the other links. and i thought i would waste some time by writing this as well.

shame again.



| lily* || 2 || 11:50 p.m. |

---

"global" [tv]

today, i was on the subway--as i am on seven days a week--and i couldn't help but notice the new ads they had placed. especially when it was blaring right into my face and plastered on every possible space--of course, excluding the windows and perhaps the doors.

"global" (television network that tends to sway right of centre and maybe further right at times) had taken over the subway car. again, i couldn't help but notice that the lighting was perfect in this car unlike the other usual cars where a light would be barely lighting, flickering ever so often, or even broken. great for global i guess.

there was one in particular that bothered me. advertising "et", as they so eloquently called it, in reality entertainment tonight. (or is it tonite for that show? i don't watch tv, so you'll have to forgive for this...although i can't say i'm sorry.)

allow me to state what was written on the poster: (i despised it so much that i copied it down and wrote it on my hand instead of reading my textbook)





| lily* || 0 || 9:36 p.m. |

---

Tuesday, September 14, 2004

Inspector Lohmann: http://inspectorlohmann.blogspot.com/

and

American Samizdat: http://amsam.org/

oh and thanks for the compliment on my old layout. it was too much work to keep the old one going. low maintenance suits my style much more.

fabulous site you have. great detail and articles. (i've only looked at Inspector Lohmann so far.)


| lily* || 2 || 8:32 p.m. |

---

school

due to the fact that i have already graduated, i have found it rather annoying when others question why i have chosen to remain in school.

well, here's the fucking pissing answer:

i like school. i actually do. i am one of the few (or perhaps many who may be in denial) people that enjoy school. i enjoy learning. i may not always like it, but like i had said, i enjoy learning. some bits and pieces of knowledge fascinates me. i don't care if it's that rhinos are natural fire stoppers or that y = ax + b. i don't care how useless it may be. somehow, it manages to intrigue me.

another significant factor is family. in particular, my parents, who are ever so willing to see a "successful" child. of course, a "successful" child would be some sort of corporate accountant making millions of dollars, or some lousy cheapass lawyer ripping off seniors. perhaps, i'm exaggerating a bit--okay, i am. thus, i'm taking a dozen math courses and accounting to create the illusion that i am heading somewhere towards "success".

sadly, i don't give two shits about it. there's a difference between being good at something and enjoying what one does. i'm fairly decent at computers, but i hate it. just flipping through my math textbook makes me sleepy. science would be alright if it weren't for physics.

history, on the other hand, is my thing. always changing and ever occuring. people are developing (or are they? please refer to for an example: "CultureJammers: Stop Bush http://adbusters.org/magazine/54/features/stopbush.html) there is always something more than what appears to be. moreover, it is ever so interconnected with every possible subject there could be. (much more than those crappy bell commercials albeit i'm not sure if they still have them on tv since i don't watch much television).

fuck math. and the corporate world. i wanna be a bum. i love history.



| lily* || 2 || 7:47 p.m. |

---

this self-destructing dance will never end

the other half is back. (yeah!) and slacking.

plans to come in the near future:

- nothing
- do math
- pretend to do math
- staring into nothing
- terminate some ill-minded workers [just my cows, maybe my brother], oh wait, that's not part of this list
- continue to pretend to do math

and oh yes, i nearly forgot, become nothing in the midst of nothingness.

kill me now.

i hate school.



| lily* || 0 || 7:03 p.m. |

---

ahoy!

arr, avast! in commemoration of pirates of the carribean--mind you, it was an excellent movie--allow me to introduce the Talk Like a Pirate Day, September 19! Just click onto http://www.talklikeapirate.com/ for more details.



| lily* || 0 || 1:51 a.m. |

---

Monday, September 13, 2004
school.

went to school today. boring.

yawn.



| lily* || 1 || 5:59 p.m. |

---

Monday, September 06, 2004
home

going home today. haven't been there for a while. been staying at my dad's house the entire summer, and perhaps, more than that if you include the many, many days that i stayed over at my dad's house during the school year.

i wonder why i'm going home. location? perhaps. it is closer to school. ah, yes. i remember now. because this is gramma's home. my home. where i was bought up as a child, went to kindergarten, vacationed during summer and winter holidays--why, i lived here my whole life.

it's a bittersweet feeling i have going home. or maybe more so a bit of regret. i can't quite describe the feeling, honestly. the english language tends to be quite constricting.

the house is going to be sold eventually. and i know it.

apparently, the house is getting too old. also, nobody lives in the house anymore. the house needs to be renovated entirely. in fact, the house needs to be stripped down entirely.

i live in the house. gramma lived in the house. ever since gramma came to canada. dad and uncle david bought this house for her. this is my house. gramma gave it to me.

and i can clean the house. i've already started. i can repaint the walls.

but it doens't matter anymore. gramma can't defend me anymore.

nothing matters anymore.

because gramma isn't here.



| lily* || 0 || 2:13 p.m. |

---

nothing

i have nothing to write.

there is nothing.

yet, i see things. memories that do not matter. details noted, but useless.

why, life itself has become useless.

or perhaps not so.

it does not matter.

i don't think i give two fucks in this world.



| lily* || 0 || 12:52 a.m. |

---

Sunday, September 05, 2004
god.

if i ever said i didn't believe in god, i take it back. i do.

and god hates me.

fuck, he curses me.



| lily* || 0 || 12:13 a.m. |

---